Get with the program

"Get with the program", a phrase I have heard from my parents my whole life. It means, wake up and make something of yourself. Truth is my parents think I'm a time waster. Someone who does nothing. I love my games, but they think of them as pathetic toys or brutal killing sims.
I admit I spend a lot of time playing them, but not once have they ever asked me why. Everytime I go throguh a rough patch in my life I fill it with a game, and they just get sick of it and start rolling out the lectures that makes just want to scream and crawl up somewhere dark.

"You flicker and you're Beautifull"

I'm not in a good place and a talk with a friend who I have never confided in before (He knew a bit about me though) helped me realise this last night.
You know how it feels to be rejected. To feel like someone sliced your heart out, stomped on it and then left you to try and put it back together. Human Beings are resilient creatures, we all face this experience at least once in our lives and yet we come back for more. Amazing.

"You glow inside my head"

I recently had to do it to myself, it was hard but it saved someone else the discomfort of doing it themselves. I've been trying to convince myself I'm ok but I cried the first four night in a row, one of them at someone elses house with my best mates. I now realise, I'm not ok, I'm numbing myself with games and that helps but it starts to bring around the other problem. No longer being with the program. Not once have my parents thought to ask if things are alright.

"You hold me hypnotized"

Anyway, I'm glad I have my friends, they have my back and know whats going on, mostly... Also they have their own shit. I like hearing their problems, it helps me forget mine.

"I'm mezmerized"

So here I a, cleaning up my own heart after I persinally dumped it n the floor. This is the first time in thirteen years that I haven't had an emotional attachment to anyone. I feel empty without it. If I don't watch out I'll attach to the last person who may not have rejected me. I need to move forward. "With a little help from my friends."

02/01/2012

Yeah, it's a boring blog title but I thought the date looked kinda cool, with its ones, twos and zeros. By the way if your reading this from the USA, we have our date Day/Month/Year it makes sense to us with the smallest thing first.

So 2012 rolled in quietly for me, just watched some telly with my parents 'till 12 and then went to bed because I was very tired from staying up late (All night) playing games with friends the night before. Since then nothing seems to have changed, 2012 so far is the same as 2011. I have some hopes for the year though, my resolution is to have my first kiss this year so watch out ladies. I have a busy year at Uni coming up, so I have to try and keep on top of it all.

Last but not least is the fact that I still don't have a job. This is becoming serious, I'm willing to work anywhere at this point. The job will have to comence because I want to get a job before Uni and save some money up before I start.

More useless information about my life coming soon!

It's nearly 2012, time to update.

It's that limbo period between Christmas and New Years. It's been quite a long time since I updated, since my last post I completed my CUP course and since then haven't really done anything of note. With CUP, I ended up doing really well passing all my courses with more than a B and Maths with an amazing A+. A+ in Maths! I even got an award for it as top in the maths class.

Since then I've been chilling with friends, playing games and hating the summer heat. I hate summer. Just can't handle warm tempretures, this sucks because I love spicy food but all spicy food originates from hot countries.

Christmas was pleasent though, even though I hate the heat I can appreciate a few days with blue skies, light breezes and the quiet valley of Island Bay. For christmas I was surprised with a new laptop, nothing fancy but perfect for my full-on year at Uni next year.

Ok, I keeping most of this breif because it's been a while since it's all happened over a long period. Now I have my laptop I plan to blog more often, maybe set a goal of every couple of days. This may mean that some of the posts will be short and unrelated to what I did that day.

I'm thinking of doing more food related posts, afterall it's my blog and writing about food is what I enjoy. You can expect some game posts too. Food and Games, prehaps that should be the title of my blog.

Down the rabbit hole.

So, in my last post I mentioned the Big Halloween.
I went down to Capital E and spoke with one of the organisers. It seems there is heaps of room for actors and they are having the event inside and outside of capital E. They need people to dress up as some characters and wandering around the crowds as their character, also some fixed position roles in the maze or tea party. It's all Alice in wonderland related and the costumes are being done with the costume cave. Sounds like a good chance to catch up one of cousins who works as a manager there.

All thats left for now with CUP is the two exams this week and the BBQ. Social scienece and BBQ on thursday and Maths on friday. Gonna try and get some study done this week.

Tomorrow I'm going to go lift weights at Corey's. Hopefully Treble turns up as well as Jayden. It's going to be good to get back into some old routines.

Post any ideas for posts that you'd like to see, prehaps ask me some questions that I'll answer in the next post. Lets turn this into a semi-Formspring like thing :D

Out the other side

So I remembered that I had a blog.
"Stating the obvious there" you may say but lately I been having troubles remembering what day comes after the next. I'm nearly finished with uni for the year and boy has been interesting. I feel so drained and this was just the prep course for just one trimester. I dread to think what next year with three Law papers, two Psych, a Stats, Theatre and Film paper will do to me.

Anyway I've fiddling with my layout and will hopefully be posting some new stuff up here as I do it. examples of things to come are

My CUP (Certificate of University Preperation) results.
Big Halloween: I might be performing in Capital E's Big Halloween
The great Job hunt.
Film projects with friends (Might not happen but I'll say so on this)
Social events (I plan to spend lots more time with friends in a couple of weeks
Games (Yeah I might post some stuff on games over summer. My summer not the american summer)
And of course I love my food so expect some stuff on that!

If there's anything else you want to post, any questions you have for me, ask me in the comments!

Love you all!

Frustration

Well, I guess inconsiderate assholes can have their night. I'll just do my Uni research and have an early night, going to bed between nine and ten. Like every other boring night of my life.

Well haven't I been productive.

Ok, maybe only semi-productive. I keep meaning to get on with another blog post but I'm never sure what to put in them, It's not like I ever do anything interesting. Stuff has happened to me recently and I seem to have some plans for the future but none if it ever seemed worth putting on my blog.

Victoria University it seems is daft enough to accept me into thier Certificate of Uni Prep, which means after July 11th I'll be a full-time uni student taking four courses designed to make me fir for tertiary education. I'm excited and oh so nervous because if I get less than a B grade average it'll just be a waste of money and I'll fail the course.

I had my third attempt at the learners theory driving test and I passed. It was nerve-wracking as I got the last question wrong and thought I had failed the test. Major shock to the system to see the green "Passed" on that screen. So now I have a little plastic card that "Officially" says I'm 18 and allows me to drive a car with a full lisense holder in the passenger seat only if I'm wearing my glasses. $400 fine if I forget them... The picture is also two years old but luckily I haven't changed much in two years.

My old kitchen has been demolished by my Dad and his best friend and the builders have built most of the framing and looks like we'll have a room with water and gas in just three weeks or so. I never thought construction could move so quickly.

I'm still meeting up with Corey and Treble every week to lift weights (Yes, the idea of me lifting weights is preposterous). Jayden comes too now and makes me even more inadequate. I'm increasing my weights though, I now lift 10kgs + the bar and increase to 17.5. It's not a lot but it's impressive for me.

Everyone's breaks are starting now and my best mate Sam is coming back from Oz. Can't wait to see him and I hope can manage not to party too hard when we see each other, or maybe we will party hard and worry about the consequences later :P